Honest talk, I have done it. This is what A.I. Says. What I have not done is obvious. Words mean something. Those professional incidents the excuse we spend 33% percent of our waking days where? Working traditionally rather than at home. Respect and communication goes both ways. Personal committing to improving no matter the gender. OMG if I told yawl the story of this phone call my doer mind trying to finish a task but unsupported on it yep .....unlike me but it happens. Peace, love and respect" "Behind every great man, there is a great women. Or Behind every great husband there is an equally great husband" - A.T. Yoda Brooks
"Using “bitches” for women, even jokingly, usually comes across as disrespectful and rooted in sexism, especially when it comes from men (including gay men). Shifting your language will make you sound more confident, kind, and safe to be around.chscommunicator+2
Why this word is a problem
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The word “bitch” has a long history as a slur used to control and belittle women, not just a casual insult.jmu+1
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Even when women reclaim it among themselves (“bad bitch,” “boss bitch”), many still do not want men using it about them or other women.everydayfeminism+1
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Gay men are specifically called out for casually calling women “bitches,” which is often experienced as misogynistic, not campy.feministing+1
Check consent and context
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Ask the women you’re close to something like: “Hey, I sometimes say ‘bitch’ jokingly—does that bother you? If so, I’ll drop it.”lgbtgreat+1
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Assume it is not okay at work, around acquaintances, in public, or online where tone and context are easy to misunderstand.lgbtgreat
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If any woman says it makes her uncomfortable, treat that as a clear boundary and stop using it for her and, ideally, in general.lindsaylapaquette+1
Concrete swaps you can use
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For friends: use their name, “girl,” “friend,” “queen,” “bestie,” or just “you,” instead of “bitch.”lgbtgreat
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For frustration: describe the behavior, not her identity: “She was really rude/mean/harsh,” instead of “She’s a bitch.”jmu+1
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For compliments: “She’s so confident/powerful/sharp,” instead of “She’s such a bad bitch.”everydayfeminism+1
How to break the habit
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Notice triggers: pay attention to when it slips out (joking with gay friends, when annoyed, storytelling, etc.) and decide a replacement phrase in advance.lindsaylapaquette
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Correct yourself out loud: “That bitch—sorry, that woman / that friend / she…” so people see you are trying to do better.lindsaylapaquette+1
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Tell your circle: “I’m trying to stop calling women bitches—call me out if I slip,” which both keeps you accountable and signals respect.lgbtgreat+1
Repairing if you’ve hurt someone
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If someone flinches or calls it out, keep it simple: “You’re right, that was disrespectful. I’m working on cutting that word out.”lindsaylapaquette
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Then actually change your behavior going forward; repeated “jokes” after someone has objected quickly move into straight-up disrespect.lgbtgreat+1
If you want, share a couple of real sentences you say (like how you talk with your friends), and a more tailored set of alternatives can be mapped out.
- https://chscommunicator.com/59086/opinion/2018/01/stop-calling-women-btch/
- https://www.advocate.com/politics/2016/12/08/15-signs-youre-gay-misogynist
- https://www.lgbtgreat.com/sites/default/files/2024-06/LGBT%20Great%20-%20Inclusive%20Language%20Guide.pdf
- https://www.jmu.edu/socanth/sociology/wm_library/ezzell.reclaiming_critical_analysis.pdf
- https://everydayfeminism.com/2014/02/bitch-internalized-sexism/
- https://feministing.com/2013/05/22/gay-men-have-a-bitch-problem/
- https://lindsaylapaquette.com/disrespectful-communication/
- https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/oq66yr/i_have_littletono_respect_for_dudes_who_casually/
- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RDUD533n0MI
- https://www.theodysseyonline.com/boss-ass-bitches-who-should-be-allowed-to-say-the-word"
Risking sounding ‘fufu’ the Sunday before Christmas I had the upmost pleasure of being invited to perform musically behind the pulpit at North Bay Community Church- Clearwater,FL. The Orchestra and Old school choir in addition to its two Directors and 2 moderators pulled it off with only 1 rehersal. What helped me stay within the service mindfully and performance was 3 points (a pyramid if you will) the young cellist who stepped up to join us while being a Freshman in H.S. , the piano player and the vibrations emitting from my personal string bass. Matter of fact having no embarrassment my hands were not shaking but allowing those tones to vertebrate naturally. Will add a caption later. Blessings this holiday season !!
